• Manifesting in Trust...

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    I pray this finds you full from a fruitful summer!! Mine has been a whirlwind!  I’ve been thinking a great deal lately about what it is to Manifest. I have been told by many of my seemingly natural capacity for manifestation.  And true; it is a realm I’ve navigated from comfortably for as far back as I can remember.  My ability to manifest has recently put me in a unique position as we are in escrow on a home here in Laguna Beach that is the potential of a vision I’ve been holding for a long time.  A place for community to gather and share love, food and ceremony.  A place our children can immerse in the cultivation of future, sustainability and tribe. And it is pushing all of my buttons!

    I was one of those children you’d expect to see on a farm.  Bare, dirty feet. Ratty hair.  Stained dress.  Dark, inquisitive stare and a mischievous grin.  The androgynous nature of my childhood in balance. I knew who I was.  I was awake. And I always knew I’d be just fine.  I was gonna make sure of it.  And so I did. In both shadow and light, my late adolescent to now adult life has functioned at a high ratio of independence.

    Clearly, independence requires manifestation as a basic survival principle. That’s a good thing, right …….? ..hmmm…

    About fifteen months ago my life changed.  Again.  (noticing a theme here, ha!). I met Andrew and my heart cracked open.  Since then, our love has had us both riding the scree of healing waters.  Healing equates to Consciousness.  And consciousness, whilst moving us toward ascension requires us to descend at the same time. Deepening to depth.  The balance of light and shadow looks like a concurrent upward and downward energetic spiral meeting in the middle.  And the higher we go into one realm we go equally deep into the other. The art of alchemy occurs in the collapsing and dissolving of both into one another. My recent manifestations are requiring me to trust that not only “I”, but “We” are worth betting on.

    I’m having to let go the shadow side of my independence. I’m having to trust I don’t have to “do it all”.  Every touch point of life is RIGHT NOW being alchemized in some form of change.  Although having a strong man at my back has me willing to trust, this does not mean I know how. This is unchartered terrain for my heart. Thankfully, I’m learning to love and learning to let down my guard to trust. Having to trust means allowing others in.  Allowing the universe in.

    Manifestation occurs as that residing on the inner realm emerging to that of the outer.  Essence becomes form. Simple as that.  When we are not willing to see who we really are, we block our abilities to manifest clearly, instead creating chaos and confusion.

    The alchemical qualities of the waters we immerse in dictate the degree we are “all clear” to create in accordance with our sovereignty.  These days I’ve been immersed in love and lately I feel I am manifesting on overdrive.  Relationships healed and healing. Dreams becoming my reality. And here again this diggin-in-the-dirt compulsion of mine has me right up against some deep shit. (I no longer say “the deepest” as every time I think I’ve hit the bottom I find more diggin’ room. ha ha….I love the humorous universe!)

    The blessings I have been showered with in this life far surpass my traumas.  Not a day goes by that I don’t bless myself, the Earth, and Father/Mother God Spirit, and my family.  I trust, and yet I am aware that I am poised at the brink of a tremendous healing. The constructs that had me so fiercely independent my entire adult life (ie: “in control”) are melting like the icecaps at my feet.  I am having to trust the masculine.  Trust the man in my life.  Trust the men in my life.  Trust the boys.  Trust the women.  Trust.  Trust anyone.  Trust everyone. Trust Myself.

    This may be the second time in my life I remember every feeling really afraid.  An aspect of me is terrified.  And yet another sits; legs dangling over a brick wall thinking “Really? You’ve been asking for all of what is being put before you.  And you’re scared? Who are you?”

    Gratefully I grasp the knowledge of what is being thrown into relief. In order to let in, I have to let down.  I am having to walk my talk again. and again. and again. Reminding myself that it was me who said we must choose and re-choose again and again, love vs. fear.  I am standing, my karma before me in a condensed rubber ball.  I say again my mantra, “Yes, I am willing”.

    I was visited by Joan of Arc last night.  She too had to trust the men at her back.  She spoke to me in length about faith.  She told me it takes courage to experience ourselves as immersed in the alchemical wisdom of our Christ Consciousness and likeness.  She said that those who come weepy and broken enter into the kingdom in humility and purity.  That inheriting eyes to see comes from a pure heart and a pure desire for what is REAL. Initiations happen through seeing.

    So thinking more of manifestation; what if we let go of illusory aspects of ourselves (our fears, and all that stops us), NOW? Can we accelerate the manifestation of wisdom???

    I say yes. I say this is where the alchemy resides.  It’s so simple really.  In the process of loving, forgiving and trusting ourselves, we melt away the imprints of karma, lineage and trauma.  We free the space for nature to populate our pure intelligence. It is beautiful and it is natural.  It asks only that we be wiling to “ante up”.  Put some “skin in the game”.  Our courage.  Our willingness.  There is no margin of expectation or judgment here. Just nature.

    Is it coincidence how being in nature has us simply feel good?  I think of Mother Earth’s intelligence.  It’s no wonder she calls us to cultivate the soil.  To plant seeds and rejoice in the harvest!  The bounty is the reward.  We are worth it.  We are worthy.

    What about you? Are you a manifestor too? Are you worthy?

    I say YES!

    Visit my website www.alchemyoftheheart.net to explore more. Come visit me.  She is speaking and has much to share!

    In Love and Bounty, Carrie

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