Today we honor the longest night....and begin a new cycle of emergence from the darkness.
Three cycles have passed since I last shared musings. It was early spring. I recall how full of potency and anticipation the Spring Equinox felt, and the time since has brought many deep experiences for learning and expanding. I've been re-visiting the theme of my earthly Karma....it has always been Trust. Trusting animals is easy....trusting people has never come easy to me. Being aware of my karmic struggle helps me stay awake to the opportunity to deepen my capacity for trust when things get gritty. For many of us, 2016 has been a very gritty year. The good news is the landscape is ripe for growth. The bad news is .... we're just gettin' started! It takes grit and courage to transcend these old paradigms. We don't have to look far to see the play before us for what it is. The old grasping to hold its position while the demands of the emergent create massive fissures in the infrastructure. As I see it, the Polarity we are witnessing is just this. The one thing we can count on is an increase of intensity.
We must become versed in a new way of seeing. All Pioneers have one thing in common. An ability to see the most unimaginable, seemingly impossible, and hold that vision as reality. Ancient Philosophers, Space Pioneers, Engineers, Artists.... Creators. We must trust our ability to Create a new vision. We must be reminded that all great eras in history arose from the ash of old embers. We are in the midst of transformation. Hold tight to the vision and allow for the karmic beliefs and struggles to dissolve. Hard as it may be. The polarity before us is ripe with opportunity.
I experienced a profound betrayal last spring. It had me question everything. I had trusted and loved deeply. The trauma ran deep and the intensity of all things became magnified. I pulled my energy in to allow myself time to reflect and heal. I can feel my energy forming another wave of expansion. Slow yet It feels strong. Today I feel deep gratitude as the opportunity to immerse into the slumbers of Solstice Winter is just the medicine I need. Winter Solstice may be my most favored time of year. This year particularly as I feel a sense of swelling in the shadows as a year around the sun crescendo's into darkness. The darkness feels like completion. I've been praying for completion and as the year comes to close, and I feel myself returning. I abandoned my heart for awhile as the old karmic belief seduced me into believing I was a fool to trust the love of women.
My old trauma body was activated which has had me on alert. Thankfully, the more intelligent aspect of heart understands that the deeply hidden wounds inflicted by women upon women must surface in order to heal. If there is one thing I've learned about hanging a shingle agreeing to offer up myself to the process of healing; its that I can count on being on the front lines. A Visceral understanding of the terrain is requisite if one is to guide others anywhere! I had to risk trusting women in order to "out" what was lurking in the shadows.
I value this opportunity to reflect back on the year and all that occurred. In doing so, I have remembered the purity in so many exchanges throughout the year. ALL of the occurrences we are given inform our emotional intelligence and offer great insight into the direction of things to come. I appreciate the ability to see through hindsight as it helps put into context some of the feelings I remember having without the knowing of what it would mean.
What I did not know then that I can clearly see now is that intensity I felt early in the year was the energy of Polarity becoming more palpable. Polarity is tricky as it is sticky! When in it, we can easily be pulled into the opposite of what we desire. There is a great deal of toxicity in the air. Now more than ever, we can activate the most organic aspect of our being. That which moves with the cycles of Nature. Maximize the potential THIS day, and let the totality of all that has built within you and around you this year dissolve into the potency of this dark night. Offer Prayers to the Ancestors. I ask them to help us develop new eyes. Eyes to see that which is emergent just below the surface of this palpable chaos. Ask for ears to hear beyond the frequency of static to the subtleties of spirits whisperings. Sit on the Earth and Wonder....